Tears

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BECAUSE OF YOU (Kelly Clarkson)

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How can I ever listen to that song again without tears streaming down my face? The song I am talking about is because of you by Kelly Clarkson. I always feel like i have to do things right and I have to be perfect, and that I can't dissapoint anybody because of the things people close to me have done. I always feel like I have to be careful because I don't want to end up like them. I hate dissapointing people, if i disapoint them then i feel it is all over and that I have to start again. The one phrase that keeps running through my head is "because of you I never stray to far from the sidewalk" I cant think of that without sobbing. And we dont have any tissues. I cant stand the thought of dissapointing someone....this is really hard for me to write, i don't want people to have to feel what I have felt. i think that I have only told one person that. I don't want to be the cause of someone elses pain. I cant stand the thought of hurting someome, let alone someone that I love. I need to go cry myself to sleep now. when will the pain others have caused me stop?

A RING!!

AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O my word. I screamed. I jumped up and down. I squealed. I got a big grin on my face. MY BIG SISTER IS ENGAGED!!!! Okay, so not my biological sister. But my big sister is getting married. [yeah, how long have we known this anyways??? wink wink] I am just so excited for her. I am closer to her than I could ever be with...well, I won't finish that bcuz of people who might read this. Anyways, I so luv my big sis. I Can't wait to see the ring. O my word!! Is it possible to be this happy for a person....O wait, IT IS!!! She totally called me, and we were both overly loud. lol. I appreciate her remembering me. Sometimes you just wonder about who will remember what. I am just SO glad i didn't have to hear it from my mother who heard it from my big sis' mother. I KNEW B4 MY MOM!! Thanks Beckie. I love people. And that causes me trouble sometimes. But what would love b without some heartache?Thank you Beckie for being a part of my life. :D

Bday Party

Happy bday 2 me. YES! it was my bday the day of my party for those of you that are unaware. :P

love

I just got a call from someone I love very much. Am I taking advantage of the love we share for each other by loving him in a different way? We are close, but is it just that he thinks about me as part of a group? Is it possible to love someone so much, and for it not to go anywhere? Well, it is. There is so much love my heart is exploding. Ya know....sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself. I miss him. i love him. Even if it isn't a romantic love, I love him anyway. O and by the way, Kat, I am wearing your present.

Birthday and such

It's my b'day and I will party if I wanna!!! So technically it is not my b'day yet, but i don't think I will have time to write on my b'day. I have over 60 people coming to celebrate my 16th birthday. Can I say ack?!?!?! I had no idea I knew that many people. So what, I love a lot of people. What are you going to do? I was conversing with someone who is a part of my family today and she asked me where her invitation was. I had made a rule at the beginning that I would not invite anyone out of state because I did not want to ask that from anyone. I could have been childish and mentioned the same thing that she did to my family but.....i am supposed to be growing up right? I hate that certain people don't want certain people around. It makes me feel like crap. Again I am stuck in the middle. What can I do ya know? This is a continuing problem, how many years have I had to deal with this? Anyways, I was going to write about Tammy Trent. But I want to go to bed. But, she is awesome. I sent her an e-mail and she totally responded, the NEXT day. And her e-mail are like screaned or something. She is a cool person. I wish she was in my family. She totally looks different in person. YAY!! revolve was awesome. KAT FOUND THE ONE!!! lol ya chad. now we have to get someone for me. lol Love you Kat and my DLS CREW!!!

SUPERBOWL!

O my word. Superbowl was awesome. And I don't think I will ever go again. Ok, so maybe I am kidding but I totally wasted a day by sleeping from 7am till 3pm. I totally had evergy until we got to open gym. Then I couldn't do anything so I lost energy, IQ points, and my hightened senses were not so hightened. Chris took midol!!! O my word. that was so funny. VEGGIE TALES!! I*L*O*V*E*M*Y*L*I*P*S
I'll keep you my dirty little secret. SUPERBOWL ROCKS MY FREEZING TOES OFF!!
I did not like the preacher. All he could talk about is death. I felt he was just trying to scare kids into savation. Whenever he said, "The wages of sin is death" he didn't finish the verse. That made me mad. THE GIFT OF GOD IS ETERNAL LIFE. he didn't think about his audience when he was preaching. God isn't all hellfire and damnation. God is love. He gave his son so we would not have to burn in hell. He loves us and cares for us. The preacher guy did not have to talk about death so much.

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