is it why?

Is that why? I mean, is that really why? I know God has plans for my life, but, is it why? How long will I wonder and wait until I know whether or not that is why? Is God protecting me from something? Is He protecting me from me? Will I ever know? Is what I dream going to be a reality? Is that why?

Goodbyes

I hate goodbyes. I really don't like saying goodbye to people. If I am with you (whoever is reading this) and I have to say goodbye to you, let me hug you, maybe a lot. Me hugging someone is my way of expressing my love. I hugged someone 5 times in like 2 minutes, because I loved them.
If I have to say goodbye to you, and I stare at you, don't freak out. When I stare, I am trying to memorize your face, your eyes, the way you look when you smile. I forget so quickly, if you are gone for a long time, I forget who you are, and I only know what is said to me by others.
I try to slow down time, I really do. I stop and I think to myself that time passes quickly and that I need to cherish each second, and the next thing I know, I am in the car, headed home.
I love people, a whole lot, I hate it when I have to say goodbye. Tonight i realized I can't think of someone in a certain way anymore. All I need to know, is that I love...and they love. Anything beyond that is fluff. I hope just love is enough to stand up for people.

Pr 10:12Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.

Joh 13:34A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
Joh 15:12This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

Joh 15:17These things I command you, that ye love one another.

1Jo 4:20If a man say *, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen ?

ARGH!!!!!!! bJKbjkdbkjkbj

It sucks. And I am so busy. I hate this. It makes me sad. haven't seen her in forever. see her, and I am just a part of the woodwork. No comments on what is new. she is tired. she works too hard. SHE is too busy. AND IT SUCKS! REALLY BAD! is it ever possible for things to change? no...i don't think so. Not unless there is some effort on her part.
I have to study for a PHYSICS test and for my permit test. This isn't right. I only have a day to study a 50 page book. AND I HAVE SCHOOL!!
cn7uhlxz,tfm jhm8u46yhbvh kd oitdjkoygjkojkztjmtgm,sdm,f SO THERE!!! THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

do-do-de-do

I get to preach on school tomorrow. I hope to be a vessel. It is harder than one might think to preach at a christian school. I am going to preach on God's forgiveness, hopefully for 25 minutes so my pricipal can't say anything after I am done. That may sound harsh, but if he wants all the seniors to preach, and take some responsibilty, then he can give us the chapel service. Because when he starts to speak, a lot of the kids shut him out. Well, I have to finish preparing now. Did you know that the chicken...wow it is late I don't know where I am going with that. My creativity has sunk. I used it all on an idea for a story for smurf, lds, and, rd and me to write. Yay for the drunkateers. And no i don't mean that in a literal sense. Time for sleep now. o....i guess i cant use the keyboard as a pillow. O CRAP!!! I forgot I have to read 3 chapters for drivers ed...and prepare my sermon..now I really have to go.

The joy of the Lord is my strength.

For the first time in a long time, I am truly happy. I am not in love, I don't have a church, I have not graduated yet, but I am truly happy. I just have a simple joy. And ya know what? It's God. My life without God was a mess, it is a dark and dreary place. But the Joy of the Lord is my strength. It is my light. God is awesome.