Impatient

Tomorrow is the day. The day I will speak to Margi. I ask all who read this, to keep me and my family in prayer for this situation. The waiting has been driving me nuts...and now it is here. I am always so impatient. In love I am impatient. My impatience could cost me a lot.
Today I shoveled sileage today. I hate that smell, I am such a city girl lol. I wish I was with my friends celebrating New years. We dont even have any sparkling cider here... :( eh, sucks to be me.
2 of my friends are getting married. It's exciting. Can you tell I am filling space? I am bored, my parents are watching the avengers. Tomorrow I will be dreading a conversation. I will be impatient too. Grr. O boy

Jesus, Jesus, how I love Him....

I Peter 5:7-11

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.
It is amazing what God can send your way through a secular television show. I was watching House and one of the doctor guys mentioned this passage. I totally jumped and looked into my Bible. Our surviving our trials in everday life are a testament of our faith. I know that this passge can speak not just to me but some others who read this. Give all your worries to God. He WILL take care of them, in His own time, not necessarily our. I had prayed that God would release me of feelings for someone, and I thought they were gone, but they only got stronger. On night (a long while later) I was just laying in my bed praying about something else, and God removed the feeling. All of a sudden I had a lightness in my heart. My heart was not heavy anymore. It wasn't me, it was God. We know that we can stand firm on the promises of God because we know His promises are not just for us, but for everyone, everywhere.
You know, what will not kill you will make you stronger. And yes Kat, crap is good fertilizer.

Trials.

I guess I should update. This blog will be confusing to most because some things are really bothering me right now. Kat is the only, and i mean only, person who knows what is going on besides my family. And I can't say anything about it, because I know how rumors start. I was beating myself up at New Hope last night, and I wasn't letting myself find peace. Everywhere I looked reminded me of the thing going on right now. So many times I just wanted to get up and get out. I really don't know that there is anything else I can say. I know God will always be the same. Me saying that does not help the pain and numbness. There would only be one reason for me to stay anyway. One person.

Anyone have money for me?

This is the best slogan ever for our little DLS crew. Yay us... Melissa G. Helen, Jessica, Urkel, Kat, and me. This is the slogan.....r u ready? "Nobody Better Lay a Finger on my DLS." Yay us. That is such an awesome slogan for us. Should I get serious? Ok. I have a decision to make. I don't have to make it write now, but it involves people I love. I need to talk to the specific person in person, so that she can understand the way things are for me. I wish I had money so I can travel the distance so that I may talk with this person. No matter what decision I make, it will hurt someone, and I can't stand hurting people. Why do things so great, have to be ruined by decisions that I have to make? I need money and time so that I may be able to talk to this person. No one can make this decision for me. With all these people affected, I am the only one who has to make decisions like this. Why do I have to be so nice? Why do I have to love people that hurt me? Thank you. To the ones who read this, that know and love me, and have not yet hurt me.