I got a job, but that is besides the point.

I was sitting in the cafeteria at VFCC at a long table, a guy sat down next to me...and surrounded by him, were a bunch of other males. I didn't look at them, I didn't speak to them, and I avoided their eyes. A little while later it was just girls sitting in those seats, I talked with them and laughed with them and junk...and u know....I realized something, I think I am shy around guys....I either don't look at them, or I become a leech...(explanation from a male friend)
"it means u try to get people's attention a way that's a little too mean for them to like... but u keep doing it and it gets on ur nerves quickly"
I cannot say that that wasn't a slap in the face, in fact it is very true. That is the way I am around most guys. I get insecure, and I hate that feeling. I grew up feeling so very insecure...it has been something I have been trying to overcome. I fear that this is not just me around guys...but also in my relationships with other people. It isn't me...I hate it. I have to find a way to accept my shy side...and let it be. ha, methinks that is funny. I really want to show God's love in all that I do. I'm finding it kinda difficult.

Workin' on a gift.

Yeah so there is this thing called singing. It isn't as easy as a lot of people tend to believe. And here's the thing, i was told that I might be able to get a scholarship, using my voice, but I have to work very hard at it. I am far behind in my singing in comparison to other high school graduates who sing. There are things I can't eat, I can't yell and junk like that, I have to practice at least an hour everyday, I literally have to eat, live, and breath singing. lol that sounds funny. I am going to have to work harder than I ever have b4. And some people just don't understand that. Music is very important to me. And my voice...(using a quote from my music teacher here) "Is a gift". If God gave you a new car, u wouldn't go out and drive recklessly...u would take great care of it...because it came from Him, and he gave it to you for a reason.