Looking back...

"I want to be a help to young girls who don't know what the heck is going on and I want to tell them that it's all right."

Over a year ago, I realized that what I wanted to do with my life wasn't what God wanted me to do. At that time I felt a real burden on my heart to be a help to others. What I quoted above is what I had written then, and how I felt at that point. I have pretty much decided what I am going to do with my life since then. For a while now, I have been a little uneasy, knowing that this was a great thing...but kind of waiting on God for a real confirmation. I was thinking today, about how great a time I have when I am teaching. I have this one class, that makes me want to throw my head against the wall sometimes. But it is my favorite class. Some of the children in that class, have real problems at home, and don't feel very loved. There is one boy, whose mother is a drug addict, and he pretty much said no one loved him, and that his mom was going away again. I was told by the teacher that that wasn't one of the worst stories of that class. One girl came up to me once and asked me whether or not she should join chorus because at her old school, something happened and the chorus dissolved, and she cried. I stood there and I said to her that she had nothing to worry about, that the person who taught chorus, and I, would not be going anywhere.
There is another girl who just loves me...I never quite understood why. And the other day, she wrote on the back of her music journal that she loved music with Ms. Abrahams....I'm pretty sure I will be making a copy of that and putting it up in my dorm (when I am in college). Thinking about these things with this class today, made me realize, I'm doing what I thought I would be doing. I'm standing there, and telling these kids it is going to be ok...I'm also showing them love, when sometimes they don't feel loved. I feel now that I have God's stamp of approval, and that it is ok for me to go full speed ahead.