Tired

I am so tired. I am tired of it all. I see the people I love and then I can't sleep because I have them running through my mind. I am tired of watching reactions to see if they hurt. I am tired of not being ablt to have all the people I love around me. I hate it when I say things and they don't want to hear anything about it. How am I supposed to spend time with the people I love when being with them drives me down into the dirt. I can't not spend time with them because that drives me batty, and I miss them so much. At least I didn't dream about them last night. Usually when I dream about them, someone gets hurt...