God...what in the world????

I keep lying to myself. I know it was the most real thing I have ever experienced in my life but,....what is God trying to teach me from this? No I am not talking about the "O my word" post. Okay so maybe I was trying to tell God my plans again but, why did my feelings seem so real? I don't know what is up anymore because I don't know if what I keep telling myself is true or not. I need to get out of the habit of lying to myself. What about him? This isn't centered around me. Goodness. It's not like we are in junior high anymore. We both have futures ahead of us. Nothing pointless in any relationships for me (plz God). Even though I am only in my 15th year of living (16 in november), the real world is one step ahead. No wait, I've been there. This coming up is adulthood. The real world I have seen. Make any comments you want on this blog. I am just putting my feelings down without getting into specifics. Kat, u should be able to figure out what I am talking about.